Since before.

I, have a hammock.

Somewhere in a drawer is a list of things,
like self-improvements,
you could say,
things I needed, in another life
markers of okayness,
of moving forwardness.

An apartment with a living room
A terrace
Yoga
Work less
A hammock

That was a long time ago,
a lifetime ago,
when I stumbled over foreign words to get
a coffee
a pastry
a loaf of bread or a cup of tea
Quanti litri? 
(That was a joke, see?).

I live somewhere else now,
not near a river but near a lake,
across the ocean.
My apartment has a living room,
which is also the kitchen,
which is also the dining room.
There is a terrace,
but in Canada I guess we call it more of a patio.
I don’t do yoga very often.
I work less, much less,
because jobs here are hard to find.

I have a hammock.
It’s old, second hand.
It’s faded, and tippy.
It’s not the colour that I wanted,
more of a faded grey
that maybe used to be blue.

But it has a cup holder,
and a place to tuck a book.
And I can lie in it
and hear the neighbour’s dog
launching itself off the dock
with a splash.
I can hear a creaky clothesline,
and boats,
and waves that smell like weeds and fish,
not salt.

And I like it,
I guess.
It’s different here.
I could stay,
if I squint my eyes hard enough.

 

2 Replies to “Since before.”

  1. I enjoyed this ‘poem’. Powerful images that evoke feelings of calm and settlement being whispered to by ‘since before’ times. d

    Like

  2. Dear Allie Because of your interest in Wyldwood Sojourns work i want to share this with you for personal reflection . I spoke to you briefly of the virgin birth practices around the world. As one level of self concieving. My friend Dr E Vandendriesche self concieved a child in 2016 . Via her devotional practice with the Mayan god quetzecoatl. You can see photos of him in my fb pg from june 2nd. Ill send photos separately. In case you want to document this for the future. Tomas Topiltzin was a strong healthy child . June 2nd 2019 he choked on a peice of fruit and died to this realm. We have been with Emmanuelle and she is recieving much guidance through dream and visions that he had to leave to avoid accruing negative karma . And was able to pass directly to the source without being caught in the bardo worlds. That she did well to bring in a evolved soul . Setting a powerful example for us all . She is not the only woman in our time who accomplished this. We are listening and waiting for the right time to unveil this ability. Currently the womans movement has become inauthentic and is not dealing with true teachings – with a very few exceptions . Ok i will send more on this if it calls you warmly Maureen

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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